Attention seeking

Hi again,

Today I came up with an idea of what to base todays blog on whilst on Skype with my friend. This friend thinks I’m an attention seeker because of what I have done to myself. I;m not, well im not looking for attention. However, she started thinking this because my “best friend” told her I have no reasons. So i’m officially “billy-no-mates” because all my “friends” think that.

Of course, no ones an attention seeker if they’re not looking for attention.

So I am about to brag about how people shouldn’t think what they see. Technically, its like judging a book by its cover, if the cover looks rubbish u don’t read the book. In this case, if the person sounds or looks like they’re doing it for attention, the others expect them to be doing it for attention. I found a quote the other day which sums this up,

“You know my name, not my story. You see my smile, not my pain. You notice my cuts, not my scars. You can read my lips, not my mind”

I just thought the fact people can see you on the outside, trying to be happy, hiding your depression but really the outside is doing the opposite to the inside. The inside is full of the bad thoughts where they are buried in your brain, not coming out. Well that’s what I think and how I feel about it.

Question: How Do You Tell Someone What You Feel?

Thanks for reading

Hidden Girl xx

My First Blog

Well, hi there this is my first ever blog and im only 12 years old, i’ve started this blogging thing because i was reading a book about a blogger. This blogger started blogging her feelings and it made her feel better about the crisis that had happened. You see i’ve been having problems aswell so i thought it might help if i started blogging.

It all started when i was in year 6, i had 2 friends with the same name and personality, all they ever did was fight over who was better. One of them ended up getting fed up and decided to make a new bunch of friends, which of course i felt bad about.  Then we went up to our next year after them fighting most of year 6. The one who didnt leave our friend group became my best friend for a bit, but i spoke too soon. A couple of weeks in to year 7 i started getting pinched, punched and slapped by her. But of course i didnt know how to stop it and she never stopped. so i went and told the teacher about it, then the teacher told my mum but from there on my friend said it was a habit, but it wasnt she did it on purpose because im an easy target, everyone says i am.

Now its my final year at middle school and she still hasnt stopped, ive been to the teacher and told my other friends, but after i told my other friends they started doing impressions – on ME! And it hurts when they do it but i dont want to tell anyone because they will get really annoyed and my “best friend” doesnt now that i told anyone and that the others are doing impression of her!

A couple of months ago i started self harming because of it, and they found out…

They keep asking why, but i’ve only told one person but i havent told her that i dont like her doing impressions and on me. And now anything that annoys me, even ever so slightly, it triggers me to cut…

I’ve got to try to sort it all out but dont know how, also i cant stop cutting, so im stuck both ways.

Sorry if i just bored you to death, but its made me feel better putting it out there!

Question: How can i sort this out? Plz help!

Thank you, bye for now

Hidden Girl xx

My Life